


I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU!

by TheFanficDreamingAuthor



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: A short silly idea I suddenly got, Attempt at Humor, Crack, Crazy, F/M, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Father-Daughter Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, Hange Zoë's Experiments, Happy Ending, Humor, Inspired By A Tik Tok, Light Angst, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Mother-Son Relationship, One Big Happy Family, Team as Family, Traumatized Eren Yeager
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:08:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28985373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFanficDreamingAuthor/pseuds/TheFanficDreamingAuthor
Summary: Hange made a new type of ODM gear that has increased speed to match Levi's.Levi is chosen as the victim to test them out no matter how many times he protests.But Hange just thinks positively...until she whispers to Eren to get ready and transform in case things get bad.Some Scout Family crack that I came up with literally 10 minutes before writing it down.
Relationships: Levi/Hange Zoë
Comments: 2
Kudos: 76





	I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU!

**Author's Note:**

> This idea was inspired by a Tik Tok sound. A part of the sound is the title

"No."

"Levi-"

"Hange this is the worst idea you've had since the day you came out of the womb."

"...It really isn't...I've done worse, as said by you specifically."

"Fuck you, I wish I was dead right now."

"You'd rather die than try this?"

"I've wanted to die since I was three, the fuck you asking?!"

Levi, Hange, Erwin, and the cadets were standing over the wall, on a safe side with no Titans near (but they have their ODM gear just in case). Levi was wearing a newly made ODM gear that was Hange's new experiment; an ODM gear that matches Levi's speed from when he fought the Female Titan. And obviously, Levi is not happy with this.

As they were coming in, he failed to notice Hange whispering to Eren: "If anything goes wrong, transform on my signal, please." Leaving Eren standing frozen in shock and waiting for the chaos to break loose.

"Levi, it can't be that bad-"

"No one asked you, eyebrows! Besides, how would you know?! You're not the one who is wearing something that goes on a speed you can't control!"

"Levi~" Hange cuts the conversation: "Just do it, if anything happens, be assured no one will die."

"That doesn't help!"

"Too late! Alright, on three!"

"...Wait WHAT?! NO!"

"1!"

"I'm leaving and removing this."

"No, you're not!" Hange holds him by his arms not allowing him any space to move at all. They both stand on the edge of the wall with Levi still struggling in Hange's grip: "2!" Hange turns to Eren and nods at him, telling him to be ready.

At that moment, all Cadets, including Erwin, knew that the bomb was gonna go off and this wasn't going well.

"Hange, I swear on Erwin's eyebrows-"

"-Excuse me?"

"3!!"

"nO- NO!" Levi is pushed off the edge of the wall by Hange as the Scouts all run towards the edge to watch the demise of their Captain in worry.

Levi is screaming as he tries to control the direction of the ODM gear that's taking him from one tree to another way too quickly: "FUCKING- STOP! WHY ARE YOU SHOOTING TO THE TREE! I DIDN'T CLICK SHIIAAHHTT!"

"...Should we help him?" Jean asks.

"...Uh..." Hange didn't know how to answer him.

"HANGE!" Levi starts screaming as the ODM gear throws him towards the sky and he struggles to aim towards a nearby tree: "I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU!"

"Okay, yeah- EREN!"

Eren jumps and stumbles as he jumps off the wall: "Uh-yes ma'am!"

Eren bites his hand and transforms into his Titan, the Cadets watching with worry and fear as he rushes under Captain Levi in order to catch him.

"eREN-NO! NO! NO! MOVE!" Levi screams but is immediately cut off as the ODM gear takes him to a tree: "ErEENNNN! FOR FUCKS SAKE! STOP!"

Eren runs to the left to catch the Captain again but he zips away to a tree on the right: "GODDAMMIT! STOP!"

Eren freezes at the sudden swift before running to the right after Levi.

The cadets watch with faces of 'Oh shit, this is not good' and 'Someone's gonna die' as Hange has a hand to her mouth and wondering why she ever thought this was a good idea.

Levi once again zips to the same tree on the left: "ARE YOU KIDDING ME-WHOA!" But instead, he goes to the left again where Eren was running after him: "SHIT! EREN! STOP!"

Connie: "OH FUCK-"

Sasha: "EREN DUCK! DUCK YOU GOOSE!"

Jean: "THAT GEAR HAS A SHITTY MIND OF IT'S OWN!"

Mikasa: "EREH-"

Armin: "...Oh, God! Oh, God! OH, GOD!"

Hange: "LEVI SHIFT!"

Erwin: "I should've said no, why don't I listen to him?!"

"EREN!"

And the blades of the gear slice.

Levi stands on the wall, the gear broke, he is soaked with titan blood as he glares at Hange with arms crossed. 

Eren was standing in the middle of the cadets as they make sure he's okay. But the poor boy is traumatized and is just staring at the gear attached to Levi as if it was the smiling titan itself.

"...So...what part of this was a good idea, again?" Levi asks.

"...The part where you're both okay-" Hange tries saying.

"oKAY! MY ASS! Hange, I was an inch away from slicing Eren's legs off from the nape itself! Look at him!" He gestures to Eren who flinches away as if the ODM gear was about to grow teeth and attack him. 

Levi noticing this unlatches the ODM gear immediately after gesturing Mikasa to cover Eren's line of sight. He takes it off and, without hesitation, throws the gear off the wall.

"...Okay, yeah. It was a horrible idea." Hange admits.

"Ya think?!"

"I take half the blame for allowing this," Erwin says.

"Oh-! Don't get me started on you, eyebrows! You better sleep with one eye open because I'm about to shave those hairy worms off your forehead, that seems to have lost the brain it contained!"

Levi turns to Eren, his expression turning worried: "Eren, you okay?"

"...Define okay..." Eren starts as he finally moves his gaze from the ground to Levi's face: "Because I'm deciding on sleeping standing up tonight to wake up and know I still have my legs. I don't want one of those dreams where you fall and don't feel your legs, coming after me."

Jean didn't even laugh because he agrees, especially on the last part.

Silence follows with Levi still glaring at Hange.

Erwin coughs and speaks up: "I'll get the horses ready so we can...yeah." And with that, he goes to the side of the wall and zips down using his ODM gear towards the horses.

Levi sighs and speaks up: "Hange when we agreed to adopt those brats, it was to take care of them, not give them another reason to get therapy."

"Actually, we adopted them for the sole purpose of being their therapists...so..."

"..."

"And technically, all the Scouts need therapy at this point, but we just don't have the money for it. So you and I spared 6 troops...until now..."

"...I- what the fuck?"

"Dad-Captain!...Captain Levi." Mikasa's face grows red in embarrassment as the other five cadets look at her in shock. While the rest of them calling Levi and Hange 'Dad' and 'Mom', Mikasa never used those titles even if she acknowledges them.

Levi and Hange turn their gazes from each other to Mikasa in shock. They say nothing, just waiting for her to continue.

"...Do we take Eren to medical? Or do we just go back?"

Levi can't even answer, he's too deep in shock at the title coming from Mikasa, so Hange smiles and answers for him: "Don't worry, I'll give Eren a quick check-up. Can you head down and get the first-aid bag from my horse just in case?"

Mikasa thinks that Hange said that to make her escape the embarrassment, so she nods and heads down to Hange's horse with her own ODM gear she brought in case of trouble.

After she zoomed down, Levi watching her head out quickly turns to Hange and says, loud enough for the rest of the cadets to hear: "I'm forgiving you this one time!"

"She just called you 'dad'!" Hange says excitedly.

"I know! And I'm panicking! And I'm forgiving you because of the sole purpose of her doing that!" Levi's eyes were glowing, clearly happy. 

The rest of the cadets just smile at their adoptive parent's enthusiasm. 

When Mikasa comes back, Hange goes to check on Eren whilst Levi's facing away from Mikasa, trying to keep his excitement hidden as to not make Mikasa uncomfortable.

But that made Mikasa worried if anything. Was he happy? Was he upset that she took so long? Was he angry at the title coming from her or angry that she took so long? Was he going to cancel the adoption he and Hange placed over her?

She remains worried through Eren's check-up and on the way back to the Scouts base. Hange, who rode next to the girl, slows down her horse and goes back towards Levi who gives Hange a questioning look.

  
"You might want to say something to Mikasa...she looks worried because of what happened."

And he does. When they get off their horses, Levi, in front of everyone, heads to Mikasa, who looks up at the sound of hurrying footsteps, and he brings her into a comforting hug. He learned the hard way that actions speak louder than words.

Mikasa stands frozen in shock, but she gets teary-eyed and hugs Levi back who tightens it as he gives a smile up at Hange who's smiling softly at the exchange between the two.

The cadets smile too. As crazy as their family can get, as harsh as the war is, as hard as surviving inside the walls is, they know they're loved and have a home.

**Author's Note:**

> ...I think I drank a little too much tea because I couldn't bring myself to finish the Angst draft that I have saved and instead was in the mood to create this.
> 
> Anyway, thoughts? What did you guys think of this quick little one-shot?
> 
> Update: I JUST HAD TO ADD A BIT OF ANGST! I'M SORRY! BUT I FEEL LIKE MIKASA WOULD DO THAT AND I'M AN ANGSTY LITTLE SHIT SO I'M NOT SORRY :)


End file.
